by Why is it hard for some people to fall in love? Why are they afraid to taste a sliver of those moments of ecstasy? Why do they refrain from pushing themselves into that corner? Why do they always push themselves back when someone tries to approach them? Do they have an inner critic that stops them from diving into some temporal bliss of existential bummer? Loving someone is easy but to stay in that state is difficult. Maybe these people think that they are not capable of returning the amount of love they will receive. May be their whole concept of Love and affection is quite different from others. May be they have this fear that one day when they will lose their soul mate forever. May be their insecurities never allow them to go beyond their boundaries and constraints. May be they don’t find themselves good enough to attract others. May be they are in the search of perfection. May be they feel that love should not be confined to just sexual and amicable relationships, but it goes beyond the limitations of self contentment. They are the kind of people who live in their heads and not often in their hearts. They suppress their feelings before they turn into some kind of fantasy.
Then there are some people who think that Love is not just about romance and intimacy, but it is the state of immortality. It is the state where your soul is connected to something greater than yourself. When your whole paradigm of thinking is changed by that one person. But again, there is some fear associated with this strong feeling of affection and that is that this temporal rapture or what we call it as ecstasy, doesn’t last forever. As a result, you end up with a piece of content called memory and your whole thinking paradigm changes from the world of awe to the world that seems to implode. Jason Silva says breakups are death practices where you enter into the state of neurosis. You feel like your whole concept of love and affection has got shattered. Self confidence, self-esteem and especially your self-respect are totally replaced by self-delusion, doubts and self-demoralization.
So the point is that the people who are always afraid to fall in love think that love is just an impermanent and momentary state of bliss and an emotional intensity of this feeling totally disappears at some point in life. So the person is left with scars, which haunt him for the rest of his life.
