We have all heard the phrase “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. But is that really the case? If you are in a long distance relationship, how do you know your partner will remain true to you? The good news is trying to carry on a relationship when there is a significant amount of distance between the two of you is difficult, but not impossible.
The main factor that either gives a relationship staying power or signals its demise… is trust. Do each of you have trust in the other? And was this trust apparent and really strong before the separation? These questions have to be truthfully answered from your heart in order to justify the rest of your feelings.
It’s obvious why trust is such an issue: your partner is not around for you to see what is really going on. If someone wants to cheat badly enough, they will find a way to do it, and probably get away with it. You will know from the way the two of you acted before the separation whether or not trust is an issue. If there is no doubt in your mind, and you feel the two of you are so committed to the staying power of the relationship and that no one could get in the way, then trust remains.
After trust, you have to look at how connected you were before the separation. Were you experiencing any problems? Was the connection there or was there some reluctance on the part of either of you? If either of these issues were present, then a separation will only make things worse.
Next, look at how deeply involved you both were with each other. Was it casual dating or something much more? Casual dating doesn’t stand much of a chance long distance, but if there are sparks and that extra something you only get from the person you are meant to end up with, then you’re in luck. You have a fighting chance as long as you are both willing to continue to fight to keep it alive.
A long distance relationship also has the ability to bring out certain behaviors in your partner you might not have ever witnessed before. Here are just a few:
- it is becoming increasingly harder to get in touch with them.
- they seem to be very jealous of where you go, what you have been doing and who you spend time with.
- they expect you to stay home and not have a life.
- they grow defensive when you start asking them about what they have been doing, or where they have been going.
You have to evaluate whether the package as a whole, is worth staying with and working on. If you and your partner don’t equally agree it is, perhaps you should let go.