2022-11-29

The Bare It All Syndrome Is Killing It All

When relationships go sour, which they sometime will and anger and frustration seems to rule over your heart – a word of advice to the aggrieved – hold your tongue or in today’s case – emoticons, emoji, FB and eager Twitter updates and press conference if you will to spill out the beans.

Silence is golden and always pays says an adage and that seems long forgotten in the age of one-upmanship where whoever spills the beans first seems to get the eyes and ears. All it does then is becomes open for judgement and ridicule and if that’s what you intend it to be then perhaps you are indeed doing the right thing. There is always a pain when a long-time relationship breaks and as Mr. Johar pointed out to the ‘hurt’ in his book and devoted a chapter on what he felt hurt about. All it did was break the sanctity of a relationship which at one point in time withstood the test of time and if you’ve decided to move on do it with grace and poise. At least that’s what is expected from a director who has shown the sensitive and beautiful side of relationships and not so long ago was considered the ‘peacemaker’. Unless of course you want to wash your dirty linen in public, let the hurt rest in peace for a while.

After all we had the great misunderstanding between the mighty Khans resolved by a warm embrace and all hurt lays forgotten as they are ready to promote each others work with gusto once again.

If it’s an office affair gone wrong – or a ‘friendly move’ or a ‘handshake’ misconstrued stand firm and state what you want – go to HR before going to a ‘feminist organization’ or writing an open letter. As the dog whisperer says “stay calm and assertive” that perhaps nips most of the problem at the proverbial ‘bud’. If the beans are spilled it is etched in public memory forever and even if you are the President of the United States and the pastor and your wife ‘forgives’ your rumored office affair ‘her’ adversary will not -they will use it to their advantage and pull her down as we saw the ugly reference of Clinton-Lewinsky brought up each time Mrs. Clinton came up on stage even if that happened decades ago.

So, just a word of caution, to the world who has started loving open spats and cussing and pulling each other down, try and move back to the basic for once – and if you should end a relationship do it with grace even if that means holding your ego as that’s what it is most of the times – feeling justified is just another word given to feeding your ego – the all-important ‘I’. Perhaps giving it the much-needed time would perhaps make the ‘mud’ settle in the murky water and then perhaps you would be able to see things clearly and solve the ‘misunderstanding’ for a lack of better word.